A holy cave

The other day I ran out of memory on the disk in our camera, so I popped it into the computer to clean it out. It had pictures and videos from the past year. I was surprised to discover a series of three video files documenting the actual birth of Timothy. There I was, up close and personal, delivering Tim. I assume the second midwife took the footage, because McPie was there holding my head/hands, and Nadia's gloved ones hovered occasionally, checking heartrates and whatnot. (When I showed it to McPie, it was new as well because it was taken from, er, the opposite angle.)

I wouldn't have thought I'd have wanted that event videotaped. But I am so glad to have it. My memory of the event is so limited -- limited to about a six inch radius around my head (visually), and the completely primeval instincts that made my body go. I've been creating "memories" based on McPie's recollections of it, but my own recollection consists of just sensory perceptions.

On reviewing the footage, one of the things that strikes me about the event is the serenity of it. The room is darkened, I'm relaxing (er, "relaxing") in a large tub of water. There is minimal speaking; when there is talk, it is a calm murmuring. At a certain point, Tim's head is completely exposed, and we are all just relaxing quietly, waiting for the final contraction that will expel the rest of his body from mine. When it happens, he is suddenly wholly in the world, and instantly slid into my arms. (And I say, totally stunned, "It's a baby!" Like I was expecting some other conclusion to my trial?) The video ends with the yet unnamed "Mister Little Baby" still in my arms... where he stayed until it was time to deliver his placenta. At which point the midwives bade McPie to take off his shirt, so that MLB could be transferred to his arms without missing out on any skin-to-skin contact. It was hours later that Nadia returned to weigh the baby, and check him out (other than the initial Apgar, which was performed while I held him in the water).

I am reminded how lucky we were, to have the experience of delivering Tim in what McPie says felt like a "holy cave". No bright lights, no extra voices, no hands whisking him away for "medical" stuff.

And I'm completely amazed at how this:

Suddenly became this.

And in a blink of an eye, I'll be posting a picture of him walking to school on his first day...

Zen and the art of sleep management

I have decided to find a sense of zen when it comes to Timothy's sleeping patterns. (As much as one can "decide" to be zen.) It occurred to me today. There are endless "sleep solution" books out there, each proclaiming to have THE answer to you baby's inability to sleep (or more likely, the books would have it, your inability to get your baby to sleep).

Sleep solutions, I have decided, are like religions. The followers of each believe that their way is THE way. Well, I've opted out of religion, so I'm opting out of solving Tim's sleep, too. So there.

Which isn't to say I'm not going to try hard to get Tim to nap, or go to bed at a decent hour, or sleep as much as possible in the night. Of course we'll do that; it's common sense. Common sense! What a concept! I got a piece of advice about baby sleep early on from a good friend, which basically boils down to: put him to bed when he's tired; if he cries, pick him up to reassure him that it's okay, but then put him back down. And repeat until he gets used to just falling asleep on the first go. Kinda makes sense, huh? Like, common sense? Yet at the time, it kind of sounded like rocket science to me, because it's so simple. And I'd been prepared for "getting baby to sleep" to actually be about as complex as rocket science. At any rate, this is the advice I have used, and it works (as much as anything baby-related works). Thank you, Trix!

(Turns out, having flipped through a few "sleep solution" guides, this is the sort information they are providing. With a lot of marketing spin.)

Anyway, I'm going to be thinking more of Tim as a person rather than something to be managed. (Granted, a person who's not very good at acting on his fatigue.) If he gets hungry in the night, I'll feed him. If he needs to be attached to me in order to get the nap he needs during the day, I'll put him in the wrap. He's going to be beyond the baby stage, beyond the napping stage, so soon that I won't even remember what sort of sleep solution worked for us.

But anyway, when you're this cute after waking up from a nap, who cares if the nap was only 20 minutes long?


I should note that I can say all this because I'm not sleep deprived any more. Relatively speaking, anyway. I get up once or twice in the night with Tim, and it doesn't seem to affect my day. So whatever is it we're doing -- even if the baby isn't sleeping from seven to seven each night -- is probably good enough for us.

I should also note that the thoughts described in this post were triggered by an encounter with a mom (of a little one almost exactly Tim's age, also her firstborn) who knew exactly what I should do to get my kid to do what her kid is doing, and told me so (on feeding, sleep solving, losing the babyweight, the whole deal). Grrr. Arrgh. I was so bugged. And even more so because I thought of all my comebacks later (while I was running circles around her on the frisbee field. Ha.)

Final note: if I've ever said anything to a mom that indicated -- in words or tone -- that I knew better, or disapproved of your way, or anything of the sort, I sincerely apologize and promise to try to never do it again. This shit is personal!

Diva of distinction

The profile of Meagan McGrath and accompanying video interview is up on the Diva Foundation web site. Read it here!

My first interview experience... only slightly awkward, and made less so by the expert editing of Darren, who I look forward to collaborating with in the future!

Did I mention how much I enjoyed writing something that was non-technical and non-academic and not-about-me? I'm looking forward to the next one (I don't actually know who the next Diva of Distinction will be. Any suggestions?)

Dispatches from a hotel room

It's a suite, actually, and very comfy at that. We realized that Winnipeg then (2005) and now is the only Nationals where we've stayed in a hotel room, as opposed to some sort of dorm. This is very civilized.

Tim is currently behaving in a manner unusual for him but common to babies: he is napping. (Though now that I've written that, he's bound to wake up.) I've finished coffee and am on to breakfast. McPie is at the fields for an early morning game, though like yesterday and most of the day before, he's just shouting orders from the sidelines. He expects his knee will recover in time, as it did when he originally injured it. He promises to go for a REAL assessment (hopefully involving MRI technology), but doesn't think anything is torn -- just twisted and swollen. (No pain now, just stiffness.)

Anyway, it's a huge bummer for him to not play, but vacation-wise, the trip to Winnipeg has been very nice. I personally quite enjoy watching frisbee, and although a bit on the hot side, the weather's been nice. We've taken Tim to both the Keg and to Indian buffet for dinner, and he was a champ both times (ie: fell asleep quickly). He's also renowned in the hotel as the kid who's stroller takes up all the space in the teeny-tiny elevators. No seriously, the front desk staff have been pass the word about "the cute baby in 1609". That's my boy!

I also scored a bottle of 2004 Clos Jordanne pinot noir, which may not sound like much to you, but is my all-time favourite wine and it totally sold out in Ontario two years ago. (When it was released, we got like the last two bottles in the province except for the stash up in Timmins). The wine store here only had the one bottle of 2004, the rest were 2006 which is kind of splitting hairs except that I'm a total geek about this particular wine. (I did try the 2006 - it was a Christmas gift from McPie and served as my "post-pregnancy celebration" wine.) So, yay wine in Winnipeg!

And happily for at least me, the night-time thunderstorms have rendered the fields sloppy enough to cancel some of the games, including the rest that McPie was scheduled to "play" today (because they are in the bottom half in their division -- and I think they'd be in the top half if he hadn't been injured, but this is about silver linings, right?) So he'll be home early from the fields and we can do more touristing.


Here, Tim enjoys a Long Island iced tea and some nachos and artichoke dip at The Forks.

Here we are in Winnipeg

Hey look, I'm liveblogging! Sort of.

Sweetie McPie and I are in our suite in a hotel in Winnipeg, drinking just-barely-procured pinot noir, watching Roman Holiday on the tube while Tim sleeps in the crib a few feet away.

It was a lucky trip. A delayed flight meant we'd miss our connection in Toronto, but we managed to get on a slightly later but direct flight. Yay! Tim was a party animal the whole way, fighting sleep like crazy. We arrived at our hotel just in time to get directions and scurry to the wine shop at The Forks -- we got there as the proprietor was counting his cash, but he helped us pick a couple of bottles. Phewf. Just in time.

We were starving as we made our way back to the hotel, so even though it was like 10:30 our time, we stopped at VJ's Drivethrough for some VJ's Special Burgers. But back in our suite, Tim showed no sign of slowing down, and the burgers were way too saucy to eat with babe in arms. So we put in in the crib while we munched. He partied his ass off for about 15 minutes... and then silence. Totally conked out, with both feet sticking out through the bars of the crib, and oblivious to Roman Holiday.

In fact, I think I may have lost McPie to the same fate. (I'm keeping a close eye on his glass of wine which he's still holding. It may topple at any moment.)

Oh yes. Winnipeg. Canadian Ultimate Championships. I'm not playing this year, of course, just tagging along to cheer the fella on.

Adventure Girl

Meagan McGrath: check her out.

I had the privilege of interviewing Meagan this week. I'm writing a profile on her for the DIVA Foundation.

Meagan was amazing to talk to: she's so enthusiastic and friendly. Not to mention inspiring! Interestingly, one thing I asked about was her advice to people who want to try something new but aren't sure they are capable. (You can read my profile next week to get her answer. I'll post the link. It will include video footage of the interview -- eep!) And doing an interview and taking on a non-technical writing project was, for me, something new that I wasn't sure I was capable of. And I did it! Coincidence or karma?