Hi. I need help with something. I need to figure out a way to be okay with doing nothing for a few minutes during the day. By doing nothing, I mean not cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, etc.
Here's what happens: I sit down to eat lunch after Tim begins his nap. While eating my giant salad (creature of habit - I eat the same giant salad every single day), I read my emails, the blogs I follow, some other news sites, or sometimes I read a book. This is something I can't do while Tim's awake, because, well you just can't sit for more than a few seconds when there's an 18-month-old on the rampage. So it's a moment of treat time.
In my head, sitting in front of the computer or reading a book is "doing nothing". I can do this while I eat lunch, because I can't really be doing anything else at that time. But the chores are lurking and once I finish eating, I should really get back to it. Right? However, I like surfing/reading, and to keep it going a little longer, I keep eating. After my salad, I'll get some nuts to snack on. Then a piece of bread with pb or a cookie, or even more salad. So I have an excuse to keep doing nothing. As soon as "lunch is over", it's time to get back to work -- get all the chores done that I could do so quickly while kid-free.
You see the problem, right? I end up eating two lunches, just to enable myself to sit still for a little longer. Am I a glutton, am I lazy, or just a bit mental? I figure I have two choices: either forget about relaxing and doing nothing (ie: get up off my lazy butt and just get the chores done already), or give myself permission somehow to sit there "doing nothing"... without having to have the excuse of "eating lunch" (even when lunch is actually over).
Meanwhile, as I sit quietly writing this during naptime, salad ingested, I'm eating peanuts...
1 comment:
hk, i don't think that feeling of guilt ever truly goes away. there is ALWAYS something else you should be doing. and there always will be something else you should be doing. maybe instead of eating or feeling guilty, schedule it in. you schedule in other activities to relieve the guilt, right? time with friends, the gym, frisbee, etc.
and since you are home with an 18 year old, your time on the computer is actually social time well spent to save your sanity. you are participating in a community, even if you are passively reading a blog or forum. doesn't matter, it still counts.
cut yourself some slack, missy. and cut back on the snacks :)
i think i need to take my own advice, btw. since i'm at work all day, those chores are waiting when i come home but all i want to do is sit. i feel guilty and don't really manage to fully relax. now that jack is 4, he can go longer stretches amusing himself so it easier to slip into a book or get some knitting done. i ripped through 3 books in a week. have you read the hunger games? you must.
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